Hatstand Opera on Sark

Love, Lust and a Damn Good Chardonnay on Wednesday in Sark went well.

Apart from a few strange happenings on stage.

I think I had too much bread that day and it affected my brain. The first thing I do is a real comedy moment. I walk out to the audience's applause, take the bow and then walk off again. I realised I had forgotten the music. Then during the Tom Jones waltz I turn the page a little too enthusiastically and rip the whole thing out. It lands on the floor six feet behind me, but I valiantly carry on, attempting (and failing dismally) to read it at a distance. When Toni stops singing and apologises for getting lost I have to own up and confess that it was my problem.

Even our esteemed leader, Kirsty, made an expansive gesture in the second act and knocked over a full glass of chardonnay, all over the table and the rest of the set.

It's a problem with touring - the tiredness creeps in fast. I've done three different types of tour and they all have their problems. The five month stint in Edinburgh with Les Miserables was fun but you have to find a flat for five months (I found one 3 minutes from the theatre for 6 months and stayed on after the show ended). I've also done weekly and fortnightly touring. I prefer fortnightly because you get a Sunday off. Weekly is really tough because you don't really get any time off. Sunday becomes the travel day to the next venue (or the hurried trip home to see if the cat is still alive).

One-night touring is often easier in a peculiar way, because the accommodation and travel are usually organised for you. I've done both the "get there yourself" and the "tourbus provided" versions. The only real problem is the food and accommodation. It's quite tricky to find good food at 5.30pm in a strange city every day. And you don't tend to empty your suitcase at all. In my younger days I all but lived out of a suitcase for three years. I'm not sure I'd do it now!

The rest of the concert on Sark was fine, and the audience really enjoyed themselves. The following day we have the luxury of a late boat (10.45am) so we can have a leisurely breakfast and pack. Odd weather - we arrived at Sark harbour in rain and hail, and 45 minutes later were in Guernsey in brilliant sunshine. Then taxi to the airport for the flight to Jersey (bright and windy).

There really is no let-up on this tour.


Jeremy is the co-author of Successful Singing Auditions

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